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I'm Officially Married to a Man!

11/12/2017

5 Comments

 
It's been 3 weeks since I tied the knot with my best friend. The journey we have experienced over the last two years has been filled with ups... downs... and everything in between. Heartbreak, depression, confusion and deception have transitioned into hope, love and happiness.  
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On October 21st 2017 standing on the driving range of Quail Hollow Golf Course and overlooking Treasure Valley Idaho we exchanged vows and kissed behind the cloak of JP's black cowboy hat. His hat was not used to hide our shame. Rather, it was used to build bridges between us and our supportive sphere of influence new to homosexuality.

I wish we would have recorded the audio of the ceremony because the video didn't pick up our words. I talked about how as a child I would pick through dirt looking for the perfect rock. Once I found my perfect rock I would treasure it, take care of it and keep it in a safe place. JP is the special rock of my life. I've found the best one and now I want to keep him all to myself.

JP recited the lyrics of a popular country song referring to the first time we met and he thought, "you look like my next mistake." The audience giggled and then he got serious and told me how much he cared for me.

After the ceremony we had dinner in the club house. It was everything JP and I ever wanted in a celebration. We ignored traditional wedding fluff we didn't wan't (like cardboard tasting wedding cake) and replaced them with what we actually wanted (like Costco Apple Pie). 

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​​Our diverse group of guests mingled like champions. We had Mormons, small town ranchers, city slickers, gays, straight folks, children and grandparents... all supporting us. Some chose to drink alcohol while others stuck to water. There were no judgments, discrimination or misbehavior. Just love, happiness and coexistence.

Several people approached us after the wedding to let us know how peaceful the event was. One man in particular said that the wedding gave him hope that his families might be able to accept his future wedding as our family did for ours. He was amazed at the ability of the group, despite backgrounds and differences, to join together for one cause.

Since the wedding several people have asked us if we are getting settled into married life and if anything is different. Despite the fact that we lived together for several months before we married, we both agree that YES... things are different. Our love has grown. The way we speak to each other has softened. We are less concerned with the small shit that doesn't matter and more concerned with honoring our spouse. I'm so happy.

5 Comments
Tana Forsythe
11/13/2017 08:09:53 pm

It was a beautiful wedding! I am so happy to have met JP and so many of your friends. We are a blessed family to have you both in our lives. <3

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Cody Shirley
11/13/2017 08:22:53 pm

Awww... it was so awesome. Thanks for making the long trip.

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Craig Parker
11/13/2017 11:55:11 pm

Hey buddy, I want to see that video when we *finally* are able to do that bbq.

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Katie
12/30/2018 11:03:34 am

I found this page because of a Rick Clemons video I came across about mixed orientation marriages. I was so excited to see some info as my husband and I are just muddling through and I thought here is a man that is going to make his marriage work with his wife!! So much for your wife being your soul mate I guess. I wish people wouldn’t jump the gun and do interviews if they’re still coming out of the closet and just in the start of the process. It’s so disheartening for people looking for something solid for mixed orientation marriages.

Reply
cody shirley
1/1/2019 04:48:52 pm

Katie,

There is a lot I could say in response to your comment. However I'll leave you with this, I'm sorry you have to go through this. It's not fair to you.

I know lots of men and women who make a mixed orientation marriage work and maybe you will be one of them.

I am at peace with my life choices but it took a long time to get there. I WILL NOT appologize for my interview with Rick because that was my truth. I WILL appologize for the degree of which I judged other while I too was trying to discover my path.

If you would ever like to know of some resources that might help, I'd be glad to forward them to you and your spouse.

Cody

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